4th October 2005
The Rt Rev James Jones, the Bishop of Liverpool
Good morning
Tonight here on Radio 4 Alan Bennett is in conversation
with Mark Lawson in Front Row. His latest book includes the story of his mother’s
declining years. I could barely read it. Not because it isn’t beautifully
written but because - for me and I suspect for many - it touched a raw nerve.
I’ve not yet come to terms with the day that I admitted my own mother
to a nursing home and with the times she begged me to take her away.
We all have our reasons for what we have to do but unreconciled experiences
such as these leave me and many wondering whether we have created the best
society possible, and whether the way we care for the elderly is how we wish
to be cared for when our own time of ageing comes.
Over the last few weeks two senior citizens have hit the headlines. Sylvia
Hardy was sent to prison for not paying in full her council tax and Walter
Wolfgang was forcibly evicted from the Labour Party Conference. Both episodes
provided huge entertainment for us through the media. But I was left with
a rather depressing feeling about the way they’d been treated. No, not
by the courts and the bouncers. But by us - we were scandalised and bemused
in a sort of patronising way. It’s how we often treat elderly people
today.
I remember after the funeral of my aunt the presiding clergyman who had met
her only briefly on a cancer ward turned to me and said in a hope-to-console-you
sort of voice “She was a dear wee thing”. I wanted to explode
with “No, she wasn’t! She was my beautiful, fun-loving aunt who
lit up the world!”
It’s the way we patronise the elderly that is the tell-tale sign of
how little respect we really have for our elders. We do not esteem them for
their length of years and their wisdom. Rather, we sell ourselves creams and
surgery to banish all signs of ageing from our own bodies.
This enslavement to youthfulness would be comical if it weren’t for
the seriousness of what faces our ageing population. Raided pension funds
will make many old people even poorer. Special homes for the elderly are closing
under the weight of regulation. No wonder no one wants to grow old.
Few politicians seem to have grasped the gravity. There is little provision
or support for the extended family. There is little incentive for the young
to care for the old, and to uphold the Commandment to honour your father and
mother. Jesus reserved some of his most withering comments for societies which
abandon their parents. He accused them of making void the word of God.
It is brave of Alan Bennett to tell the story of his mother. Brave because
when you tell something really personal there’s a little bit of you
that dies inside. I hope though that the death of that seed might mean life
for others.